03 February 2011

The Espresso Book Machine

“Good news: Flintridge Bookstore & Coffeehouse, La Cañada Flintridge, Calif., is opening on Monday in its new, larger location in ‘a modern custom literary emporium’ that has replaced ‘a drab former gas station,’ according to La Cañada Online.” – from the newsletter Shelf Awareness.

Come on down and visit us here in our new literary emporium! We have everything you could want in an independent bookstore and much more – gas pumps, espresso pumps, books any way you like them, a full range of shopping experiences. We’ve just installed a meat and produce area and in the next few weeks we’ll also have a 40 amp dedicated charging station. Charge up all your electronic devices plus a Toyota Leaf or Chevy Volt.

Or as we like to say, charge in, charge up and charge your groceries at Flintridge Bookstore & Coffeehouse!

The Shelf Awareness article continues: “The store is increasing its inventory and is offering a dedicated readings and special-events area independent from the din of the store's coffee and pastry counter. It will also have an Espresso Book Machine.”

While you’re here take in one of our author readings. We now feature performing authors around the clock, seven days a week. There’s one of our writers in the produce section, watering the broccoli and restocking lemons. Check our website for the full author appearance schedule.

Walk through our store and on the main stage you might discover a local author reading from a work in progress. Nearby on one of our satellite stages a famous author dances tango or practices the piano. On party weekends more adventurous and in-shape writers have been spotted on the stripper’s pole presenting quite a “literary show.” Must show valid ID and be 21 to enter that part of the store, however.

As Shelf Awareness notes it’s often noisy at The Flintridge Bookstore & Coffeehouse. So many people having so much fun! Clusters of young people are chatting online with Facebook friends. Others order shoes from Zappos.com or shout voice commands into Bluetooth earpieces. Some customers browse the old-fashioned physical book displays, then make use of our high speed wireless connection to order books or ebooks from Amazon. They return to us for the coffee and the conversation and to order even more books from Amazon. It’s like an 18th century coffee house in here!

Enjoy our “explosive” Flintridge Bookstore & Coffeehouse atmosphere. When you mix Italian espresso fumes with the odd gasoline leak, something as simple as one malfunctioning IPad can set off the whole thing. Hello, Flintridge Volunteer Fire Department. You know our address!

About our new Espresso Book Machine. Order your book cappuccino style, with foam on top, or plain espresso: no jacket, no color, black ink on black paper. Here’s how it works: Plug an appropriate electronic device into our EBM, insert major credit card, download reading material. Be careful to choose e-book, not double mocha.

Shelf Awareness continues: “...the new building, costing at least $1 million, took much longer than anticipated to construct. New utility lines had to be installed. Soil contaminated by the gas station needed to be replaced. And the store had to install an elevator to allow disabled customers to enter the store from its below-ground parking area.”

Some of that construction continues. We provide shovels and bags to hold contaminated dirt. You fill bags and drag them out to your car. We provide an easy-to-follow IPhone app that shows the closest EPA-approved dirt depository and where to find emergency espresso. For every three bags you drop off we’ll provide one free cup of coffee. Save your dump receipts.

From Shelf Awareness: “The Wanniers also had to contend with a runaway truck that plowed into and wrecked their store nearly two years ago.”

You will soon discover we don’t encourage sitting on the street side of our store. Much of the shattered glass is gone now, but you’ll still see truck tire tracks on the faces of owners Peter and Lenora Wannier. They’ve pretty much recovered from their injuries but Peter now restocks the Espresso Book Machine with a severe limp.

Wondering what else could go wrong at Flintridge Bookstore & Coffeehouse? Well, two weeks ago it was discovered that under the old gas station was a previously undiscovered spur of the San Andreas fault, so it won’t be long before the entire bookstore falls into a crevasse.

Hey, watch out for that guy with the tray of hot coffees. He’s not paying attention and he’s going to trip over your chair leg and spill a lapful of scalding double lattes on your I Heart Books t-shirt. Get up now, while you can.


The Shelf Awareness article

Shelf Awareness home page

Flintridge Bookstore ...my apologies for poking fun... I do wish them all the best of success...

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